In Her Head

What’s on your mind? Probably the most dreaded question I have to hear from time to time. Not that I don’t have an answer for it, in fact I do – A LOT, and it usually goes from 0-100 real quick.

I’m not good at verbalizing things, my thoughts are personal and I always had this perception that very few can grasp it anyway. I’m not saying other people are dumb; I have a lot of intellectual people around me. It’s probably the degree of hell ones had, like the fucked up in me recognizes the fucked up in you dynamics.

Funny but it’s all about resonance.

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“Yes, your transformation will be hard. Yes, you will feel frightened, messed up and knocked down. Yes, you’ll want to stop. Yes, it’s the best work you’ll ever do.” Robin Sharma

I’ve been through a lot of shifts, uphill and downhill. YOLO is not true at least for me, possibly on an Earthy point-of-view, but on a spiritual level, one can die and live so many times in this life time. Each process will require unbecoming, stripping layers of ego and sense of self no matter how uncomfortable and painful it is.

It’s happening now, just in time for my upcoming solar return and for the Pink Full moon in Scorpio. April 29th, La Luna moved into the sign of transformation, amplifying that already transformative energy of moon cycles. It’s even represented by the Death card in tarot, and it could either be a double whammy or a double blessing, depends on how discerning you will be on what’s to shed or not. One thing is for sure, you can slow it down but you can never avoid it.

It brought me this incessant need to tap in a much deeper part  of my psyche, to figure out what is it that I want, and how will I get it, what is working for me or against me. It’s emotionally intense and mentally exasperating. I wish I can stop myself from putting me in these situations, but it’s hard when you’re aware of these energies.

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If you want to fly in the sky, you need to leave the earth. If you want to move forward, you need to let go the past that drags you down.
Amit Ray

The feared thing about Scorpion energy is that, it can tap what’s hidden and most of the time those are the lowest vibrations. Past hurts, trauma, unresolved issues, basically those demons you’ve chosen to sweep under the rag instead of dealing with them. You’ll be called to confront those issues, bring them into the light, as they say you can never heal something you don’t recognize.

I have a fair share of dramatic phases in my life which certainly left scars. I’m reminded of them from time to time, but those demons I used to run away from, are nothing but fuel to my inner fire now.

It’s pushing me to always let go of the burdens and the blockages, pick one stave and start a new spark, to never let fear and attachment stop me from pressing the reset button, to ram towards what will make me grow.

I have visions but I need to ground myself first, and I find writing helpful in many ways, so this blog. It is personal, a mirror of my head space, and a channel for all those erratic ideas which love to visit me at 3am. So if you don’t mind swimming in my tumultuous brain, go ahead read.

It’s going to be deep, dark with sprinkles of stardust in it and undoubtedly in your face.

 

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